Episode 54 | 3 Tips on How to be Kind to Yourself as a Business Owner

Sophia Noreen: Hello everyone. Welcome to another fantastic episode of the Boss It Podcast. My name is Sophia Noreen, and I'm going to be your host for today. And today, we're giving you three tips on how to become a little bit kinder to yourself as an entrepreneur. I know that we are all in this together. We are all the same, we want to be the best. 

As entrepreneurs, we do struggle with self-compassion. And today, in this episode, we're going to be talking about three things that you can do to be kinder to yourself as an entrepreneur. Many of these tips about being kinder to yourself actually is a mindset shift. So remember, it's not that you are not being kind to yourself, and that you're not taking care of yourself, you're not drinking enough water, you're not being physically active. It's much more than that. It's about your mindset and how you may be internalizing elements that are current externally to you. Let me give you the three examples, so let's get right into it guys. 

The first tip on how to be kinder to yourself is focusing on\ what is working. Again, I know we are perfectionist. Our business is our baby, and we're trying to get all the things done in the best way possible. But remember, not everything is going to go as planned. You are going to have many hills and valleys on your journey as you get to your goal. And if you're watching the podcast, you'll see me doing an up and down steep climb, but it's hilly, right? And if you're listening to podcasts, I'm actually moving my hand so that you can see that the climb is hilly.

You're not going to be able to do a straight diagonal up, that's not how it works. The journey is really going to be hills and valleys. Hopefully it with a slight incline that is moving you towards your goal. So I want you to really shift your mindset on a daily basis and say to yourself, okay what is working today? Right, and it can be the smallest things like my internet is working. Over the weekend, my internet went down completely and I was out of cellular data because I used my data to download photos accidentally. And so I now know that I am so reliant on the internet.

 So everyday when I wake up, and say everything is going terrible that day. Let's say, my kids are not cooperating, my cat is meowing in the middle of a recording, say there are things that are just not going right. I can say to myself, well at least the internet is working. And so that's a very simple trick, but when you're really feeling things are just collapsing, perhaps you're doing a launch and your launch is not going as well as planned. You're not selling as much as you thought you were, or say you're in product development and the products are coming out and they're not what you had expected them to be. Really go and see where you can find the grace in the entire process. See what is working. 

Okay, let's move on to our second tip. It's okay to say no. Let me say it again. The second tip is that it's okay to say no. There's a difference between your obligations and your opportunities. As many entrepreneurs are, we have ideas all the time. Some people will coin that as being idea people, and like myself, I have an idea. I would say once a day, maybe once every 48 hours. I'll have this crazy idea and I'm like, I want to do that. So this is one example of obligation versus opportunity. We really have to zone in and say, what can we focus on and do well?

 We can't scatter our energy and our focused in too many directions, otherwise, what will end up happening is we won't be good at any of them. You could be the best at something, but you need to give it time and energy and work at it. It won't happen by itself, or you need to be very diligent and delegate aspects of that business or that idea, or that plan out to others because you don't have unlimited resources and energy. So there's going to always be the opportunity, and there's always going to be the obligation. 

The flip side is an obligation, perhaps I have a process that's already an action. So for example, right now, we are in the midst of getting our Diwali product line going for Also Sophia, the product-based business. And it's my obligation to the team and to our manufacturing partners that I follow through on that plan and ensure that it gets onto the ocean and comes towards us. That's an obligation. I can't necessarily say, oh sorry. I'm busy right now because I'm working on my new business plan or my new business idea. 

That's not how it works. So it could be as simple as an idea that's coming to the surface for you, it could also be external to yourself. So not just an idea that you have, but somebody else has an idea for you. So I'll have people that approach me and and they'll say, oh we have the perfect idea for you, and we think you'd be great at doing X, Y, and Z. That's a great opportunity. But it's not an obligation for me to say yes. I'll have to take it back. I'll have to think about it. I'll have to weigh the risks and the benefits, the pricing, all of that. 

So when you're being approached by others or you're being approached by your own thoughts and ideas, always take a moment and pause and stop and say, is this an obligation or is this an opportunity? And then be kind to yourself. You have to say to yourself, if I say no to this opportunity, that's okay. You're not going to be able to satisfy everyone. So really, be cognizant of that. I think many of us will feel guilt, we're people-pleasers, we want to keep everyone happy, and as important as that is to us to be in a very harmonious relationship with ourselves and with, of course, people around us. We have to remember that we are only one person, even if we have a team that's helping us, we are the one person that will have to make decisions and we'll have to decide on things that might be difficult. So that takes time and that takes energy, and we all have to be willing to say no when it's not going to work for us or work for our company and work for our team. 

Okay, the final tip and my favorite, money. Money scarcity and money abundance and money mindset. If you've been studying personal development or entrepreneurship for a while, I'm sure you've heard about money mindset and the scarcity principle and the abundance principle. It's something that really woke me up. I come from an immigrant household. My parents came here from India, and my grandparents didn't have a lot when they first came to the country. They really struggled. And obviously, back in India, it's a developing nation. So you don't have all the resources we have here in North America, especially back in the seventies and before.

 And I needed to realize that I grew up with a scarcity mindset. I was very blessed to be in a household that was secured financially and money should have never been a concern for our family, but somehow it was. It really comes down to how we were raised in our formative years. I know many of you who listened to the podcast and who listened on Ruckus Avenue Radio, you guys do you understand this because likely you have a similar background. 

Our parents would be keeping things for years and years, although we have no utility for them any longer. The topic of money is at the center of the table, either physically we're talking about it or we are thinking about it. And so my third tip for you is to stop focusing so much on money. As an entrepreneur, it is definitely your lifeline. Your blood flow of your business is your money.

 So you need to understand what's happening, you need to understand the checks and balances. You do need to keep an eye on it, but it should not be your focus at all times. And the reason why is because if you're living with a scarcity mindset when it comes to money, then you may be more risk-averse and unlikely to take that step, which in your internal wisdom, your intuition is telling you to take.

 So for example, say you have an opportunity to partner with somebody on a project, but it's going to require a small investment of a thousand dollars because you need to pay for either the online infrastructure or you need to go ahead and buy product. And you are so focused on the fact that that thousand dollars may not come back to you. Right? When you're investing in a business, there's always an inherent risk that it's going to completely fail and the money's gone. If you are living in that scarcity mindset all the time and you cannot part with that money, you could be losing that opportunity. 

And so, you need to be really cognizant of where your mindset is when it comes to money. Are you leaning more towards scarcity or are you more in the abundance? Abundance mindset being that there's plenty of money out there for everyone. There's plenty of resources out there for everyone. And so you're more likely to take the risk and take on the opportunity, which could actually turn out to be a fantastic deal for you and for everybody who is involved in the entire project.

 Again, you really need to dig deep with this one. I do say money should be an important part of your daily analysis of how you're doing in the business, but it should not be your focus. You should focus on what needs to get done next. So for example, today, my plan is I'm going to focus on getting things done for the clinic because I still work part-time. And then I'm going to focus on doing some content creation, obviously, I'll check in with the money. But it's not going to be something that I'm focusing on. I'm going to focus on the things that need to get done. And when you are focusing on money, try to make that shift. If you are more on the scarcity side, my suggestion is to either have a mantra or share examples with yourself about people who have money, who have enough.

 And you may want to even say to yourself, I have all that I need. I do not need it anymore. You can say to yourself, I have everything I need to do the next best thing. I don't need a hundred more dollars. I don't need a thousand more dollars. I don't need the shiny house and I don't need the shiny car, and I definitely don't need the Chanel bag, if that's your thing. 

My point is, if you can tell yourself these things regularly, that you have enough and there is enough for you to have if you want it, then you'll be less likely to live in a scarcity mindset and you will be more likely to spring into action, either doing new things or finishing the things you've already started.

 Okay, guys, let's go from the top. The three tips on how you can be kinder to yourself as an entrepreneur. Tip number one, focus on what's working. There will be hiccups along the road, there'll be obstacles, there will be failed plans. There'll be actions that would actually result into something bigger or better, and it will not work out as you had thought it would. So always, always focus on what's working. This is the best way for you to feel happy about what you've accomplished at that time. And remember, it's part of the entrepreneurial journey. 

Second, know the difference between the obligation and the opportunity, and it's okay to say no. You don't need to be a people pleaser all the time. You need to look at what's best for yourself and what's best for your team.

 And the final tip that we have, number three is shift your money mindset from scarcity to abundance. And the best way to do this is to have a mantra or focus again on the abundance saying that I have all that I need, I have enough, and if I want more, it will come. Have some dialogue with yourself on the daily, and also don't focus on money all the time. Of course be cognizant of it, I'm not saying don't look at the books, don't look at the spreadsheet, don't look at the bank balance, look at them and then put it away. Don't make it your focus all the time when you're thinking of money.

 I know this is hard, especially for individuals who are relying on the income to live. It is definitely not an easy road. If you need that client or that customer, or you need to get to a certain number of sales for your product, it can be really difficult and stressful because now you're like, oh great. If I don't get 10 customers this year at X amount of dollars, then I'm not going to be able to make my mortgage or my rent. I get it. It is going to be stressful. But if you can focus on what you have, what's working for you, you will be more likely to spring into action faster because your focus is not being deviated. And we can have a whole episode on how to be resourceful with what you have. we won't get into that today, but the best thing to do is try to be kind to yourself regularly and don't shame yourself for not being able to get all those clients or customers. Repeat that mantra. Look at those examples of where you are successful and tell yourself that you will be getting what you need, because that's the part of the abundance mindset. 

Another thing with the abundance mindset, and I do use this example a lot with our clients. Many people are scared of competition. They're scared that so-and-so is coming up the same product as me, or so-and-so is going to be at the event with me and selling beside me, or you know, a number of things. Its competition is a big thing in business. But if you come in with the abundance mindset then you're more likely to say that there's enough sand as I say. Sand in the sandbox to play. You can invite your friends for them to enjoy the process of being an entrepreneur, and you can invite them to come in test out the same or different products, because you have the abundance mindset, then you'll be like, well there's lots of sand here, right? There's lots of money in the pond. And not everybody is going to be served by the same business and I use the grocery store example all the time as well. There's more than one type of grocery store in my area anyways. We have a grocery store that serves each and every community we have a grocery store level for each and every income level.

 So again, those are really simple examples of how other businesses have really niche down on where they serve. And as a business owner, while you are refining your product and your service, you are going to niche down likely as well, which allows you to really say, this is who I serve best. And again, that's a whole other conversation, so we won't get into that today. But you guys get my drift when you're being kind to yourself, really, really, really try to focus on your abundance mindset and that will help you immensely. 

Okay guys, That's all I got for today. Remember, try to take a few of the tips away. Write it down, think about it, make it a daily practice, perhaps. And remember if you have any questions, you can always email us at [email protected]. If you have been loving these episodes, feel free to drop us a five star review on iTunes. And I'll leave the link in the show notes so you can easily access your iTunes and go ahead and do that. If you take a screenshot, share it with us on our social, on Instagram. We actually will send you the 50 best tips on how to start and scale your business. So again, remember, you can always do that. And if you're not on Instagram, you can still share the screenshot of your review and email it to us at [email protected]. When you do share your screenshot on social, make sure you tag us on Instagram. We are @bossitclub and we will definitely reshare it. If you're a private account, you'll have to screenshot it and you'll have to DM, direct message us because I can't see private accounts, because our team can't see private accounts. But we definitely love your reviews. Okay, guys, I will talk to you again next week. Same time, same place. Bye for now.